Everyone has been influenced by someone. There are so many that have given advice or a small amount of guidance that changed a direction, and they might not even know it. People that have shone a light on an area you previously didn’t understand is what we like to call an ‘unlock’, even if the word isn't cool anymore.
Shayne was talking about a wonderful human that recommended some books, but also influenced him by her very nature of cool, calm, professionalism. From my perspective she’s the embodiment of casual professionalism, very approachable and the type of person you’d want as a mentor and coach.
After asking some questions, when she understood a little bit more about the direction he wanted to go and what he wanted to achieve, she recommended The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle and she also recommended the Radical Wisdom Ted Talk by Ricardo Semler.
Both of these were a pretty big influence - both of those bits of content were pretty massive as far as mind shifts. That's one reason we decided to start our reference and influencer sections, so we can pass along what we've learned from, geek over, and include in our practice.
As far as things that have upgraded Shayne’s practice and life, these were some golden moments. He was fortunate to hear from these people that coaching is a lonely, at times an incredibly frustrating job. You frequently run into people who are fiercely walled up and are in defense mode, for any number of reasons. This is completely understandable, as often the system they are in makes them feel like they are under attack. It does not mean they are bad people, but instead need support so they can understand that it's ok to let down their guard. These are the walls we try to help people visualize and break down. They can stem from a number of causes, including: discomfort with broken systems, a lack of clarity, or a threat to their own status.
He needed to hear these things. These individuals helped him navigate those challenges, and when he was one of those people in defense mode, and/or blinded by his biases they were there to set him on a path. These moments, when we really get to the details of what work and life are, is where we learn and really grow as humans. This is what mentorship and leadership are really for, is helping others, serving others. Shayne and I have both been fortunate to have people that were willing to level with us, tell us ‘the real deal’ so we could approach the world better prepared, more informed, and geared to succeed.
How do we celebrate these people that help us unlock these concepts? How do we showcase those small moments that really drive change for someone to highlight how these changes happen, how quickly and at the time, how insignificant they could seem. Is it really LinkedIn comment numbers that show influence, or is it that person that lent you a book or listened to you for a few minutes? Is it that person that called you up to see if you were looking for work or just wanted to check in?
Who has influenced you for the better in some seemingly small way in the moment that was a watershed moment for you later? Are they aware?
Go tell them.
Send them a private message, or an email, or a public shout out on LinkedIn. The key is to just say thank you and let them know what it was.
When we've done it in the past, it really made someone's day. Yes, it’s a little scary to send the message or take a second to be vulnerable, but the response is never negative, always positive. Usually, people are shocked that they’ve influenced someone, and generally it is in a way they really thought was quite small. Sometimes they don’t even recall the moment. When someone did that to us, it helped us know that we are really making an impact, and it feels amazing to hear that from someone.
Everyone loves to hear when they affect people for the better - we all want to understand the value we bring to those around us. It builds connections in our brains to keep helping, even in the smallest of ways. Five minutes of kindness could unlock a decade of forward movement for someone, you just never know.
If we keep helping in the way we’ve been told works, we all will build on the ways we make the world a better place, one small gesture at a time.
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